30 Terms Everyone Who Has Been Through Narcissistic Abuse Should Know
UNDERSTANDING THE NARCISSIST
2/29/20244 min read
Ever found yourself lost for words when trying to convey the torment of narcissistic abuse? It's like trying to articulate a nightmare that no one understands unless they have been through it themselves. It is absolutely exhausting, and you feel so alone because you feel so misunderstood, or worse, people think you are the narcissist because the narcissist is smearing your name...
Let's dive into 30 terms anyone who has been through toxic/narcissistic abuse should know. This will help you gain awareness, label the trauma, heal, and better equip you to explain it to someone else.
Lying: Narcissists frequently resort to lying as a means of manipulation. They fabricate stories or distort the truth to suit their own agendas, leaving victims questioning their own reality and struggling to trust their perceptions.
Character Assassination: Narcissists attack their victim's credibility and reputation by spreading false information or distorting the truth to maintain control over the narrative.
Manipulation: Masters of manipulation, narcissists employ various tactics such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and mind games to exert control over their victims and maintain dominance.
Neglect: Narcissists exhibit a lack of empathy and emotional neglect, prioritizing their own needs over those of their victims. This emotional neglect can leave victims feeling unseen and insignificant.
Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic wherein the narcissist undermines the victim's sanity by distorting the truth and making them doubt their memories and perceptions.
Isolation: Narcissists often isolate their victims from their support networks, fostering dependency and making it challenging for victims to seek help or break free from the abusive relationship.
Controlling: With an insatiable need for control, narcissists micromanage every aspect of their victim's life, leaving them feeling powerless and trapped.
Verbal Abuse: Verbal abuse is a common tool used by narcissists to diminish their victim's self-worth through insults, criticism, and put-downs.
Name Smearing: Narcissists engage in name smearing to tarnish their victim's reputation and further control them, causing emotional harm and isolation.
Triangulation: This manipulation tactic involves the narcissist creating conflicts or rivalries between individuals to maintain control and keep the victim off balance.
Flying Monkeys: Individuals manipulated by the narcissist to carry out their bidding, often complicating the victim's attempts to seek help or escape the abuse.
Character Assassination: Narcissists attack their victim's credibility and reputation by spreading false information or distorting the truth to maintain control over the narrative.
Love Bombing: A tactic used by narcissists to establish intense emotional connections with their victims swiftly, showering them with affection and gifts to manipulate and control.
Discarding: The abrupt termination of a relationship by the narcissist once the victim no longer serves their purpose or when they find a new source of narcissistic supply.
Devaluing: Narcissists undermine their victim's worth and accomplishments to maintain control and keep them feeling inferior.
Emotional Burnout: A consequence of narcissistic abuse characterized by emotional exhaustion and depletion, necessitating time, self-care, and support for recovery.
Hoovering: Hoovering is a manipulation tactic employed by narcissists to draw their victims back into a relationship or interaction after a period of separation or discard. It often involves promises of change or expressions of false remorse.
Smear Campaign: A smear campaign is a concerted effort by the narcissist to tarnish the reputation of their victim, spreading lies, rumors, or half-truths to discredit them and garner sympathy or support for themselves.
Gaslighting by Proxy: Gaslighting by proxy involves enlisting others, such as friends, family members, or colleagues, to participate in gaslighting tactics against the victim, further undermining their sense of reality and credibility.
Projection: Projection occurs when the narcissist attributes their own negative traits, behaviors, or feelings onto their victim, deflecting accountability and shifting blame onto them.
Idealization and Devaluation: Idealization is the initial phase of a relationship where the narcissist idolizes and puts their victim on a pedestal, showering them with affection and admiration. Devaluation follows when the narcissist begins to demean, criticize, and devalue the victim, often without warning or reason.
Future Faking: Future faking involves the narcissist making grand promises or plans for the future to keep the victim invested in the relationship, only to repeatedly fail to follow through on their commitments.
Neglect: Narcissists exhibit a lack of empathy and emotional neglect, prioritizing their own needs over those of their victims. This emotional neglect can leave victims feeling unseen and insignificant.
Emotional Burnout: A consequence of narcissistic abuse characterized by emotional exhaustion and depletion, necessitating time, self-care, and support for recovery.
Selective Amnesia: Selective amnesia is when the narcissist ‘conveniently’ forgets or denies past events or conversations to avoid taking responsibility or being held accountable for their actions. This is a form of gaslighting.
Stonewalling: Stonewalling is a tactic used by narcissists to shut down communication or avoid addressing issues by refusing to engage or respond, leaving the victim feeling unheard and invalidated.
Circular Conversations: Circular conversations occur when the narcissist repeatedly brings up the same issues or arguments without resolution, often leading to frustration and confusion for the victim.
Entitlement: Entitlement is the narcissist's belief that they are inherently deserving of special treatment, admiration, and attention, leading to exploitative behavior and a lack of consideration for others' feelings or boundaries.
Trauma Bonding: Trauma bonding, also known as Stockholm Syndrome, is a psychological phenomenon where victims of abuse develop strong emotional attachments to their abusers. Despite experiencing harm, victims may feel dependent on their abusers for validation and support, making it difficult to leave the abusive narc relationship. Trauma bonding can
Identity Theft: Narcissists may engage in a form of identity theft where they gradually erode their victim's sense of self by imposing their own beliefs, preferences, and desires onto them. This manipulation tactic can lead the victim to lose touch with their own identity, values, and goals, ultimately becoming an extension of the narcissist's personality rather than their authentic self.
If you can relate to any of these, we are here for you! Like the saying goes, when you've been with a narc, you understand what narc abuse is.
